❝she was a beautiful dreamer.
the kind of girl who
kept her head in the clouds,
loved above the S T A R S
and left regret beneath the EARTH
she walked on.❞
“Oh–” was all she could muster as the pieces finally fell together, “hey–” she called, drawing her attention, “don’t do that –” she stated fiercely, “you’re not something he can get out of his system – don’t belittle yourself or what you did. Lily – Jamie’s chased you for as long as I can remember. He thinks the world of you and whatever reaction you saw is just him trying to figure it out–” she offered, a weary smile at her lips. She couldn’t begin to explain to her what was going on – it wasn’t her place, but she wasn’t going to let her insecurities ruin her. “I don’t know what’s going to happen – maybe you guys are going to be just friends or maybe more – just be patient?” she suggested softly. “I’m going to say something and I’m going to hope that you don’t think I’m judging you because I’m not and the last thing I want you to do is feel bad, but you’re my friend and I want to be honest with you – he’s waited for you for so long, Lils. He’s been patient and he’s done his time and if he means that much to you – do the same. I’m not saying put your life on hold – if you fancy someone else, date them. Do what’s right for you, but don’t let him go just because his first reaction wasn’t the one that you expected– Lily Evans isn’t a quitter–”
“Oh merlin, no. I love the offer and you are an extraordinary wingwoman, but I already feel like a coward and the last thing I want you to do is front me as I attempt to get my shit together. I don’t know what I’m going to do, but I think I’ve got to do it alone–”
❝ i’m not belittling what we did, we had sex. we both wanted it, we were both aware of what was happening and where it was going and i’m positive he would agree that it was GOOD. it’s not about patience either it’s just… STOP trying to tell me how to feel when i was there and you were not. i’m not saying it because i’m mad or i’m just ‘throwing in the towel’.i didn’t E X P E C T anything with him. GOD why does everyone think they know what’s in my head? i’m not pointing fingers or feeling like shit because oh no i was rejected, it was good and i’m glad it happened, i do not regret it for one second but emmeline the truth of the matter is, i was a straight bitch to him for six years in a row and i was the one that pushed him away so his reaction is not a surprise to me. i’m not wallowing in self pity, i’m being a realist. James Potter deserves far better than whatever shit storm i just dragged him into and that’s why i think it shouldn’t have happened, not because i feel crappy because he didn’t immediately want me back i’m not that S H A L L O W. and if he did do it to get me out of his system and in the end it does make him happier, then i’m one thousand percent grateful that he did because it means in the end he will still be happy and that’s what matters most to me. that doesn’t mean i don’t fancy him anymore, it means whatever the fuck i feel does not matter more than what’s best for him and if that isn’t me then it sucks but i’m a big girl, i’m not going to cry about it. thanks for the unwanted advice though.
❞
❝ if you need anything, you know where to find me. i’m always happy to help.
❞
She didn’t know – she wasn’t supposed to know what she knew and she needed to keep to that, she had made a promise. “Why can’t it happen?” she questioned, “we both know you fancy him, so why not?”
She couldn’t help but hug her, she wasn’t much of a hugger – merlin, she tended to avoid it, but when it came to the redhead – she never could resist, “you’re amazing, you know that?” she mumbled, her smile widening, “I mean – I don’t know if I’m going to do anything about it, we’re friends. We’re great friends and he’s amazing and I don’t think he sees me like that–” she rambled, wondering if it was more to herself or her, “I’m just glad we’re okay–”
❝ he overheard me talking to mar about how i FELT towards him and everything that was going on and we talked about it afterwards. you should have seen the look on his face when i told him that it was true and that i loved him.
❞ the girl chewed on her lower lip, shaking her head softly.
❝ safe to say he rejected the idea almost as soon as i put it out there. but then he came back and…. THINGS happened. and f u c k em, he felt… perfect. but it doesn’t change the fact that he clearly said he ‘couldn’t be that person for me’, he wants nothing more than a friendship. part of me thinks what happened was a way to get me completely out of his system. either way it’s never happening again this was all just a really big mistake and its probably for the best if we just stay friends or whatever.❞ lily shrugged it off, a tight smile spread across her lips before she leaned into the hug.
❝i’m not amazing but thank you for thinking as much. i just want you to be happy em, always. and you never know, maybe i could talk to him? put in a good word? i’m an excellent wingwoman.
❞
“Lily– you can be upset. There’s not really a guideline and I mean, it’s only an issue if you take it out on them, but you’re allowed to not be okay–” she assured, a weary smile at her lips.
“Well, Fenwick –” she amended with a chuckle, scrunching her nose at the sound of benny, it didn’t really roll of the tongue for her, “are you sure?” she couldn’t hide her surprise – she had imagined this conversation going horribly – all possibilities catastrophic. “You don’t hate me? Not even a little? Because you’re allowed too, y’know? It’s violating the girl code and fuck, I want us to be okay–”
❝eh i don’t know. i wish i didn’t care as much. after all, it’s not like anything is actually going to happen between me and james so maybe i should dislodge the figurative stick i have up my ass and stop feeling so rubbish when i find out someone else has taken a liking to him.❞ the redhead shrugged. ❝OF COURSE i’m sure em, how could i hate you over something like that? i think it’s so good! benny is amazing, he’s definitely boyfriend material and i couldn’t be happier for you! F U C K whatever part of the girl code that says friends have to fight over boys, i think it’s great that you have feelings for him and i would love to see two of my closest friends together and happy.❞
“Yeah, a normal boy– Jamie is Jamie–” she grumbled, scrunching her nose in disdain, “a hot commodity? What has the world come to?”
“Fenwick – I might like Fenwick. Just a little – okay? And I know – he’s your first–” she trailed off, wanting to kick herself into a goddamn hole, “I’m not doing anything about it– I swear, I’m not doing anything. You matter to me. Our friendship matters to me and in comparison, that’s nothing–” she promised.
❝yeah well JAMIE isn’t mine. i have no right to be mad at anyone that likes him, that’s between him and that person.❞ lily shrugged offhandedly, resting her chin upon the palm of her hand. ❝a really weird world honestly but its the one we live in. lucky us. WAIT.❞ lily mused over the tidbit of information emmeline had just shared, her brows pushed together in confusion. ❝BENNY? this is all over you liking BENNY? em… i know he was my first little sweetheart but it’s way in the past, he’s just a friend! I think it’s wonderful that you like him! don’t hold back on my part i think you guys would make such a cute couple!❞
“Lily–” she sighed, her smile waning as she took in her agitated state, “I must be a shit friend if you really think that I’d do that to you–” she murmured, her expression crumbling. She knew she wasn’t the nicest and that some didn’t think the best of her, but the last person she expected to prove herself to was the redhead in front of her.
“I pissed off Skeeter and she decided to drag my arse through the dirt – I guess she’s succeeding – I don’t have feelings for James, okay? That’s disgusting – for fucks sake, I grew up with him. He’s the closest thing I have to a brother and the thought of that makes me sick. Maybe I haven’t been the best of friend to you, I won’t deny that but it isn’t over James–”
guilt seeped into the girls expression as she heard emmeline go on, the prior look of annoyance slowly fading as lily shook her head. ❝you KNOW you’re a great friend Emme. besides, even if it was true that wouldn’t make you any less of an amazing friend, you’re allowed to like a B O Y.❞ as the brunette went on, lily found herself laughing softly. ❝you sure? cause lately it seems like james is the hot commodity. what do you mean though?❞
“Now Red, I’m going to need you to put the wand down and listen to me–” she joked, a weary smile dancing at her lips as she held her hands up in a defensive stance.
❝oh sod off like i’d actually pull a wand on you over a stupid rumor.❞ lily rolled her eyes, clearly annoyed with the girl though she struggled to squander her negative emotions.❝and if it IS true, it seems like a personal problem doesn’t it? you like jaмeѕ poттer, welcome to the b l o o d yCLUB.❞
“so persistent – i dig it” laughter spilling from her lips, “James is just going to love that–”
❝PUH-LEASE.❞ lily rolled her eyes and shoved the brunette playfully, a soft grin resting upon her lips. ❝james hates unwelcome distractions at practice. i’ve heard him drone on and on about the importance of F O C U S when on the field.❞
Emmeline nearly gagged at the thought of pink, giving the girl a light shove, “black. Black is definitely my speed–” she sighed, glancing down at her bare nails, “you know – Quidditch is gonna destroy these babies, right?”
❝and when it inevitably does, i’ll be right there to paint them all over again. it’s the beauty of nail polish my friend.❞ she laughed, taking the girls hands and looking at her nails. ❝maybe i’ll even go to your practice and have the touch up supplies ready.❞
“Oi –” laughing as she nudged her back, “I don’t know about relax–” she huffed as she attempted to get comfortable, “what colour?”
❝i think i’ll opt for a light blue today, i think it fits my mood. for you how about a PINK?❞ she wiggled her eyebrows playfully, tugging at her hand gently. ❝or black? i think black is more your speed.❞
MUSE A — Bacon ipsum dolor amet pork in excepteur velit laboris mollit quis pariatur veniam dolor ut culpa tempor dolore. Fugiat laboris dolor sirloin ea, tail short loin andouille proident lorem pancetta pig. Dolore swine sirloin do fatback est, salami pancetta esse dolore leberkas ham. Enim pork chop sirloin, aliqua ad nisi spare ribs veniam id.
MUSE B — Sirloin filet mignon voluptate aliquip magna. Tail shank do culpa tenderloin, consequat in ad jowl shoulder swine. Beef ribs kielbasa jowl, in short loin nulla pork loin. Anim porchetta do jowl, drumstick pastrami meatball alcatra fugiat ham hock ut duis dolore in. Non dolore cow nisi strip steak, bresaola pork chop sausage ipsum dolor.