❝she was a beautiful dreamer.
the kind of girl who
kept her head in the clouds,
loved above the S T A R S
and left regret beneath the EARTH
she walked on.❞
“nope–”her nose scrunching in distaste, “you know how I feel about those–” plopping herself on the ground.
❝they’re NOT that bad. they’re relaxing.❞ the girl shrugged, lighting up the third cigarette in what seemed like the last thirty minutes, an alarming rate for a girl so petite. ❝besides, they smell heavenly. ❞
lily wasn’t quiet – she was a roaring fire, eager to share her opinion, her views, eager to fight and be heard and the silence that she heard right now was killing her. all she could do was hold her closer, her fingers running through her hair, “okay” nothing she could say would fill that silence – nothing that would draw her out of her shell. she was going to get out there, emmeline knew it deep in her gut, but it would be at her own pace.
“do you need anything? i can grab you a snack? a jumper? a few books? nailpolish?” a small smile at her lips, she had never felt so lost, she couldn’t fix this. she couldn’t help her – not the way she wanted too.
❝um, NO.❞ the girl ran her fingers through her firey tresses, her eyes darting across the room as she cowered under the girls caring stare. though she meant well and lily was positively sure of that. she couldn’t help but feel bad that she even had to linger around for her sake. ❝i think i’ll just write a bit. thanks for the help though em, it really means a lot.❞ she managed a soft smile though it didn’t quite reach her eyes. she could tell that there was some part of the brunette that was disappointed in her reaction but there wasn’t much else she could do. there was very little she could face right now and even her friends seemed to make her feel uneasy at the moment.
“We’re not going to let them, okay? You’re right – this might be a preview, they think that this is enough to send us running, but we’re not weak. We’re not broken and we are sure as fuck not cowards–” she stated firmly grasping her hands. “I can’t imagine what you went through, what other students went through and I want to rip their heads off for what they did to you, but Lily – we’re not done. This was only the start and we need to be ready–” all this did was send them hurdling into the war, she knew where she stood. “They don’t get to get away with this –” she muttered, her worried gaze searching hers, “I don’t know if you want to talk about it–” she started, a somber expression taking over, “if you do, I’m here to listen and if you don’t, I’ll catch you up on what you missed, yeah?” she wasn’t going to push, the fact that the girl was awake and talking was enough and the last thing she wanted to do was send her into that trauma again. “I’m really glad you’re okay – I don’t want to live in a world without lily evans–” careful with her bruisings, she wrapped her arms around her, “i’m not letting you out of my sight – you’re going to hate me by the end of the week–”
A small smile tugged at her lips, “he’s okay–” she breathed out, nodding her head at the figure a few beds down, ‘I’ve been running back and forth between the two of you – he’s shaken. He was attacked – but he’s okay. He’s strong and he’s okay–” she rambled, the weak smile was all she could muster.
lily remained quiet throughout the girls rant, the gut wrenching fear that she’d felt moments ago looming its evil head once more. she WANTED to be as passionate as emmeline about retaliation. she wanted to feel the fire that once pushed her towards the rebellion and the courage that on many occasions had been her only saving grace. but try as she might to search within herself for any of these emotions, she just came up empty handed. there was in fact no other way to describe the feeling. she felt completely VOID. ❝i don’t… i don’t know.❞ was all the girl could manage to whisper weakly. as the brunette pulled her into a soft hug, lily could feel herself cowering away. wouldn’t they all be better off without her?one less soul to worry about. ❝i’m glad he’s okay. i’m glad everyone is okay… as okay as they can be all things considered.❞
“there’s nowhere else i’d rather be–” her hand encompassing hers as she watched the redhead ease into her sheets, “death eaters – creating fear? This was their warning – their fanatics, Lils – they don’t need to be sane to do something like this–”
“from what I know – yes. Their injuries are being tended too – I’ve had the chance to check on people here and there, but I’ve been here most of the time–” she rambled, a weary smile at her lips, “James – he’s okay–” she added softly, as she gave her hand a squeeze, she was itching to tell her about their problems within these walls and yet she didn’t want to strain her – she couldn’t stop thinking about what Carrow had said. How easy it was for her to boast.
❝they attacked in the middle of the day, with no regard for who was watching. they felt confident doing so. this wasn’t a warning em, this… this was a preview of what they can do and how they can do it whenever they want.❞ her voice trembled as she went on, glimpses of her attack replaying in her mind so vividly that the girl desperately tried to shake them out of her head. ❝thank merlin, he’s alright. and the others… no casualties. what about BENNY? is he okay?❞
She was exhausted and yet sleep didn’t come easy to her, she had a feeling that it wouldn’t for a while, the terrors of that night were constantly seeping in, whether it was a shadow, the fear on the face of another – she couldn’t rid herself of it. She couldn’t leave the redhead’s side – she should have been with her, and yet she knew that Lily wouldn’t have wanted a babysitter. That she could handle herself and nothing about that night could take that away from her. She had closed her eyes for a second – even if it was to simply see the darkness, they were forced wide the moment after – that voice urging her up as she sat straight, blinking unsure if what she was seeing was real.
“Hey red–” her voice cracking with relief as her gaze searched hers, “you gave me a scare–” she mumbled, shifting to the end of her seat only to get closer to her, “you’re in the hospital wing – they’re gone–” she stated firmly, “it’s over” she left out the ‘for now’ – she didn’t have to say it, she knew the girl knew it – tonight was only the beginning.
her eyes flew to the girl beside her, her chest heaving and her hands gripping at the sheets beneath her. ❝em, you’re here.❞ her grip on the sheets loosened slowly, her defensive stance fading as well. there was no reason to be so on edge, she was HOME. she was in the safest place in the world. so why was it that she’d never felt this terrified? ❝who’s gone? WHO did this? why…. is everyone okay?❞
“Do you want me to explain it to you?” an earnest smile at her lips as she perked up at the chance to bring the redhead into the game of wonder. “She won’t stop harassing me – you’ve read the load of garbage she published the other day. I apparently have problems–” she hissed, a frown at her lips as she crossed her arms over her chest, “the fact that she brought Benjy into this makes me want to claw at her – she won’t leave me alone, I’m going to change that–”
❝would you? i feel like so much of my life stems from the bloody game and i’d LOVE to fully understand it so i can be enthusiastic with you lot but generally i’m just scared you’re going to fall.❞ she laughed, shaking her head softly. ❝well sweets, as head girl i feel like it’s my obligation to remind you that violence of any kind is really frowned upon and you should refrain from attacking any student…. but as lily evans, i would also like to point out hogwarts rules generally stop applying just outside of school grounds like say, hogsmeade? not that i’m condoning a fight but at least a H E A T E D argument right?❞
“How is it that after all this time, you still don’t enjoy it?” shaking her head in complete dismay, the hint of a smile at her lips being the only proof that she was teasing. “Well, I’m going after Skeeter–” she started with a wide smile, irritation shining in her gaze, “I’m going to make her regret the day she dragged me into her pathetic excuse of a column–”
❝no one has ever bothered to actually sit down and explain it to me, for all i know you’re all just flying around in your little brooms avoiding getting shot down from the sky. nasty little bludgers scare the hell out of me. i mean i get the basics, just not as much as everyone else.❞ she shrugged, winking at her best friend. ❝not that i’m against this idea because i’ve been in many a column in my day, but why exactly are you targeting her now?❞
“Yeah?” a small smile at her lips as she rested her cheek against the cushion, “missed ya’” she admitted, “and I have quite a bit to tell you–”
❝oh yeah. i can sacrifice myself for a few hours, despite not knowing what the bloody hell is actually happening on the pitch. ❞ lily rolled her eyes playfully, a soft smile tugging at the edge of her lips. the girl tapped emmeline’s nose playfully before she relaxed onto the floor beside her. ❝oh do you now? go ahead, SPILL. i want to know what’s been going on.❞
“Yeah, I’m not going to be explaining this to James – think I might just law low for a bit–” the last thing she wanted to do was sit down and talk to James about her lack of focus.
“Wasn’t really talking about that–” it wasn’t her injury that had her all down in the dumps, it was what happened with the redhead that had her a bit self loathing.
❝that’s probably best, especially for your health. i know how much you love to play but you’ll do the team a favor if you lay low and get better. that way you can kick arse at the match. i’ll even come out and cheer you on.❞ lily nudged the girl playfully, trying to coax a smile past the sullen expression. ❝i know what you’re talking about. let’s just… not get into it. it’s in the past and it belongs there alright?❞
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