hopelessly hopeful
LILITH MARIE EVANS
Lily Evans
head girl

❝she was a beautiful dreamer. the kind of girl who kept her head in the clouds, loved above the
S T A R S and left regret beneath the EARTH she walked on.❞

marymcmacked:

–- she was going to be sick, head swimming and throat burning, mary has to take a step back. lily’s words hitting her where it mattered.  && yet her features and gaze remain unmoved by lily’s speech, as if uninterested.   –why couldn’t she win? what made lily so special?   words and reminders that overpowered anything else, even the part of her that begged for this to just   end

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 ❝  …. wow. quite the lecture. —are you done? because if you’ve finished listening to yourself talk, I have somewhere else to be. ❞  she answers hollowly before shoving past the red head and quickening her pace to   ESCAPE

hot tears sting her eyes as she steps back, her eyes searching her friends expression for some semblance of recognition, anything to indicate that she can see how hard her words have hurt her. she wants to shake her, to make her wake up and realize how awful she’s made her feel but all she can do is give into the anger and look away. ❝oh sod off mary.❞ she’s sick of being PERFECT lily. she’s sick of wanting to help despite the insults thrown her way. so when mary scurries off, the girl makes no attempt to run after her, instead she just shakes her head and walks back to the punching bag, her heart heavier with each step. 

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(Source: xo-lilithmarie)


marymcmacked:

–- mary’s eyes narrow –make it convincing.  ❝  oh. there’s nothing wrong with me. but of course, it must be impossible that anyone would ever be unimpressed with you.  ❞  chest aching and hands trembling within the folds of her robes, mary makes another move to step around the other girl  her friend. ❝  whatever. just go back to your game of pretend, and leave me out of it  ❞ 

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❝i don’t know who the hell you think you are but you have no right to speak to me or anyone like this. you went through something terrible well guess what mary we all did. we’re all trying to keep our shit together however we can whether its pretending to be okay or fighting off the fear we constantly live in so get off your damn high horse pretending that whatever i’m doing is beneath you. if it bothers you, don’t look at me, hell don’t speak to me again, but you don’t get to judge my character just because you damn well feel like it.❞ lily sidesteps in order to block her way once more, her eyes burning with rage. ❝NO, i’m not letting you go just like that. you want to be mad at me, give it all you’ve got sweets but there’s something wrong with you and i’ll be damned if i don’t help you get through it.❞

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(Source: xo-lilithmarie)


marymcmacked:

–- mary reaches to rub at the side of her neck, an itch burning the back of her throat.  ❝  it’s just irritating, you’re like everyone else. being able to hit something doesn’t make you ‘ strong ’.  ❞  she rolls her eyes, gaze moving to glare at the swaying bag.   ❝  what? is Lily Evans just too PERFECT to feel vulnerable once in a while? –jesus.  ❞ giving the bag a shove, she makes a move to leave.

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EXCUSE ME?❞ lily scoffed, her eyes lighting up with rage as words tumbled past the girls lips with no sort of remorse. she’d expected this sort of talk from a lot of people but never mary. ❝so what if i chose to let out my anger by hitting something. i’m not afraid of vulnerability, i’m just sick of feeling helpless. and where the hell do you get off telling me what i can and cannot be?❞ as the girl moved to leave lily reached out to stop her, quickly moving to block her way. ❝no way, you don’t get to leave after being a straight up BITCH, what the hell is wrong with you?❞

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(Source: xo-lilithmarie)


marymcmacked:

–- mary says nothing, expression twisting oddly as she comes to stand near the punching bag.   —of course she didn’t see you.   ❝  …. No. I wouldn’t.  ❞  she finally answers, pushing at the bag so it rocks in place subtly.   ❝  i don’t really feel the need to overcompensate.  ❞

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lily’s soft smile falls immediately, her head tilting to the side as she quickly scans her friend. ❝OUCH mary, thanks for the jab. what’s with the attitude, is it bad i actually found something that makes me feel okay?❞

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(Source: xo-lilithmarie)


marymcmacked:

–-  ❝  …. woah– tryin’ to take my eye out, lils?  ❞  mary smiles lightly as she joins the other girl, bouncing slightly and palm bouncy against her thigh. her stomach already hurts, turning unpleasantly although her smile never wavers. ❝ you’re not practicing for a real fight, are you? ❞

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❝oh i’m so sorry MAR, i didn’t see you there.❞ lily laughed softly, pushing the stray locks of her fiery hair away from her face.  ❝DEFINITELY not. i’m just tired of feeling weak and this… i guess this is the only thing giving me some sense of strength. this way no one gets hurt, i just take out all my thoughts on a lifeless bag, which is really therapeutic in a sense. care to join me?❞

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(Source: xo-lilithmarie)


marymcmacked:

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 ❝  nooooo. now what am I supposed to do during practice? I won’t even be able to meet his eye, Lily !!  ❞  she falls into a fit of horrified laughter. they had found it somehow, a little normalcy even after all the trauma. and mary finds herself hopelessly grateful to her friend   ❝  those gloves ….. were a one time, highly forgivable incident that will never be repeated. and therefore I had scrubbed them from my brain. but thank you for reminding me.  ❞ she laughs breathlessly before shifting to tuck her legs beneath her.

I’M SORRY i just had to!❞ lily finds comfort in the laughter, her smile lingering on her lips as she shakes her head, settling back onto the bed as they continue to reminisce. ❝you’re lucky you can forget, i still have nightmares where i step into charms and all i’m wearing are those gloves. it’s absolutely horrid.❞

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(Source: xo-lilithmarie)


marymcmacked:

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she groans in embarrassment, hands covering her hot cheeks and laughing through a fresh wave of inexplicably unshed tears, at the thought  ❝  oh gosh— I do not want to imagine what James would think. which I think what you might be going for? so genius idea, as always. and honestly, you could pooossibly get away with wearing a pumpkin on your head and still looking good ? so??   ❞  she catches her forehead in her hand, covering her still flushed cheeks and soft laugh.

❝i can’t deny i get a certain sense of glee at the thought of his expression upon getting a glance at it. can you blame me?❞ she laughed louder, trying to conceal the soft blush that crept onto her cheeks at the mention of her bedroom life with the boy. she had hardly wrapped her head around it either but it felt good to talk about it freely with a friend. ❝oh don’t even pull that, we both know i’ve had my fair share of fashion don’ts over the years. like the time i thought fingerless gloves were all the rage? shame on me.❞

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(Source: xo-lilithmarie)


marymcmacked:

she sighs, eyelids fluttering and the ache in her chest easing. lily evans had that effect, like a breath of fresh air. reluctantly pulling herself back up, mary gives lily an encouraged smile, cheeks flushed and letting out the first soft laugh in a while  ❝  … don’t be silly– you looked great before. this is just …. a different great. more kick ass and take charge. it suits you. just like i knew it would. so what’s next?   ❞ 

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lily welcomes the change of topic happily, her soft smile growing wider as she shakes her head. if only their lives could go back to the times where piercings and tattoos were their only worries. she didn’t disappoint though, shrugging gently as she looked down and surveyed her body. ❝i’m thinking of getting my nipple pierced. i think POTTER would get a kick out of that one, don’t you? plus i’ve always liked the look of it. dainty yet edgy. thoughts?❞

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(Source: xo-lilithmarie)


marymcmacked:

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mary studies lily’s expression before turning to glance around the hospital wing, wishing that what lily had said wasn’t true— that things would be okay, go back to normal. and yet she had a horrible feeling she was right.   ❝  … probably.   … but– if they want to chase us off they’ll have to do better than that.  ❞  trying to sound brave— she shifts uncomfortably at the thought of a second attempt, as if her words alone would summon something much worse the next time. mary groans, falling forward so her forehead lands in her friend’s lap, hiding her miserable expression and short hair falling over her features. it didn’t really make her feel better, to think she might have potentially left lily to face something alone.   ❝  let’s…. let’s not make it about that. it won’t take away from the fact you look damn great— that’s what matters.  ❞  

❝yeah… yeah.❞ lily tries to put on a brave face for her friend but finds it even more difficult to do than concealing her fear. she was the bloody head girl, a gryffindor through and through, yet she could not find the fighting spirit within herself any longer. lily runs her fingers through her friends locks soothingly, her teeth sinking into her lesser lip as she fights back fresh tears. yes, avoiding the subject all together was exactly what she needed.  ❝who knew all i was missing was a hoop on my nose to really look good?❞ 

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(Source: xo-lilithmarie)


marymcmacked:

mary agrees, nodding silently with a soft, bemused smile– something mind numbing did sound all sorts of necessary at this point.   ❝  … yeah. I don’t know about home …. i feel like…. like I still love it here. despite everything. it’s just— … a little scarier now.  ❞  she grimaces, hating the fact she’s admitted to some of her squashed down fears. courage came so easily to her dorm mates, it was times like these, when the going got tough, that she felt…. mis-sorted. ❝  …. i leave tomorrow morning. but i’ll come visit? every day, …. if you like? i don’t want to be annoying, obviously but—  ❞ mary admits, almost feeling guilty that she would be abandoning her friend to the miserable hospital all alone, despite the fact they were surrounded by half a dozen others who would also be staying. ❝  && your nose-– it looks so good. … I’m so sorry I flaked. I just—  ❞ she cut off her own rambling, fingers squeezing lily’s hand with an apologetic smile   

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❝i don’t… know. i don’t think it will ever be the same.❞ it was the first time she’d really put her fear out there in so many words, though she was certain she didn’t convey it properly. hogwarts used to be her safe haven, the one place she could count on despite the odd prejudiced comments. now, she didn’t know if she could ever shake the terror that gripped at her heart. ❝hey no, don’t even worry about it. come when you can, who knows maybe i’ll get out of here sooner than we think. and don’t even dare apologizing, i’m glad you didn’t come with me i… if i wasn’t alone they could have done something worse to you and i don’t want to live with that thought.❞ 

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(Source: xo-lilithmarie)


NETWORK

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MUSE A — Bacon ipsum dolor amet pork in excepteur velit laboris mollit quis pariatur veniam dolor ut culpa tempor dolore. Fugiat laboris dolor sirloin ea, tail short loin andouille proident lorem pancetta pig. Dolore swine sirloin do fatback est, salami pancetta esse dolore leberkas ham. Enim pork chop sirloin, aliqua ad nisi spare ribs veniam id.

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