hopelessly hopeful
LILITH MARIE EVANS
Lily Evans
head girl

❝she was a beautiful dreamer. the kind of girl who kept her head in the clouds, loved above the
S T A R S and left regret beneath the EARTH she walked on.❞

jpcttr:

  he had always imagined what she would taste like .
          firewhisky ?  chocolate ?  cinnamon ?  
                                she rarely stuck with the same thing ,  
and he found the mystery itself to be a key contributor to his lack of self control .
             unfortunately ,  he realized that the mystery would remain as such ,  
as all he could taste was copper and salt ;  his OWN blood .  
                 the pain of her bite was quick and barely noticeable ,  
    his own reaction proving primal and thoughtless as he watched her
                         with widened eyes as she pulled away .  it should’ve been illegal ,  
              leaving the boy there with a desperate spark in his eyes .
                   he was a teenager — GIVE HIM A BREAK .            

                  then she did

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                                                it seemed gentle at first ,  
       growing more INTENSE & PHYSICAL as his relentless hands scoured her body ,  
eventually lifting one of her legs against his hip .  
           the previous conversation blurred from his mind ,  
                            caught and mixed in with his heated mindset .  
          she was light  — like a FEATHER — as he he moved his free hand
 ( his other still on her thigh )  toward her rear ,  
               quickly lifting her up as his lips continued to clash with hers . 

giving the head boy and girl their own place wasn’t the smartest of ideas .
                               but hey … T R A D I T I O N

his hands left behind a trail of fire,
her skin igniting and coming alive
with each soft stroke. she couldn’t
help herself, a soft moan falling from
her lips as he pulled her closer, jumping
up into his arms. she wrapped her legs
around his waist eliminating any space
between them as she rolled her hips 
up to meet his, desperate for some 
sort of friction between them.

                      NAUGHTY NAUGHTY HEAD GIRL.

                                                        she pulled away only slightly, her fingers 
                                                         travelling up to his hair, tugging on his
                                                       raven locks gently as her lips explored his
                                                         soft skin, trailing gentle open mouthed 
                                                       kisses down his neck, eager to taste every
                                                       inch of his skin. before long her lips ached
                                                          for his again, like once she tasted his 
                                                        lips she was addicted and there was no
                                                                               turning back. 

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(Source: xo-lilithmarie)


jpcttr:

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               he stared at her ,  unsure of what to say .  
each word she said emerged genuine ,  
     emotion tossed into every syllable as she stared at him
            the way he’d ALWAYS wanted her to .  
he was confused — possibly overwhelmed and not thinking straight ;  
                                                  regardless … he reacted . 

                                         he was silent for a long time ,  
his eyes merely glued to the red head before him .
      james wasn’t used to this kind of honesty .  
he grew up in a blunt household , everyone saying what they thought ;  
                 however ,  such powerful emotion was often lost on their lips .  
                          he was A F R A I D .  
        “ i’m sorry … i uh — i can’t be that person for you right now .  
i can be your friend ,  but i can’t … ”
                 he shook his head ,  
his words stumbling over each other as he took a stand .  
                                       “ i should go . ”

        he was gone before he even realized he’d left ,
                                   his body turning the corner and his back slamming
against the wall as he was overcome with something FOREIGN .
           him flirting with lily had started off as a joke .  
he could admit that .  
       he annoyed her and he liked it ,  
                  jokingly teasing her and asking her out as a way to piss her off .
 eventually it became something different and
         he grew more and more upset every time she turned him down .
                           it was just a crush though .  RIGHT ?
         it was only ever just a crush . 

                    james went there wanting to comfort her about her father
and possibly put the confusion to rest ,  
         but she sat there and she said things that set him on edge .  
                                   he had NO IDEA how to react . 

          he didn’t stay against the wall much longer .  
  he had fully intended on turning and entering his room ,  
                       however ,  his feet dragged him back toward the windowsill .  
              the boy was confused ,  
uncomfortable ,  and worried ,  but he was also CURIOUS ;  
    curious as to how she tasted .  
                  so ,  without warning ,  he walked back to her
and crushed his lips against hers … still unsure as to what the fuck he was doing . 

❝james WAIT can we just-❞

                                     before she could even begin to explain
                                that she expected nothing from him, from them
                                   from their circumstances, before she could
                             plead for him to just stay with her until they sorted
                                things out, he was gone and she was left sitting
                               there with a sullen expression, her jaw slack and 
                                 the slightest trace of heartbreak muddled into
                                             her confused bright green orbs. 

seconds ticked by as she remained in the same
position he’d left her, trying to piece together what
had just happened and in what moments things
suddenly went south. it wasn’t exactly how she’d
expected things to go but then again, her expectations
were quite small to begin with. with a soft sigh, 
lily got up and began to gather the blankets she’d
wrapped herself in, unaware that james had returned
and was making his way right towards her. without
warning she was pulled against his lips, her hands 
falling to her sides once she realized it was him and
all she could feel was…. ANGER.

                                             suddenly, the redhead bit on his bottom lip
                                          as hard as she could, no doubt drawing blood
                                           from his supple flesh before she pushed away, 
                                                  her eyes blazing and her cheeks pink. 


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                        lily watched him, her chest heaving and her
                     mind racing to catch up with the rush of emotions
                    that flooded her brain as soon as his lips met hers.
                     how could he feel so PERFECT when he was so
                  unbelievably F R U S T R A T I N G. however before
                    she got the chance to even think of an answer, her
                     feet dragged her forward, her hands cupping his
                    face and pulling him closer to her, her lips coaxing
                     him into a deep kiss oozing lust, the need for him
                     building up until she felt she was on the verge of
                 exploding under him. she was completely at his mercy.

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(Source: xo-lilithmarie)


jpcttr:

L I L Y . ”

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  he didn’t want to be that guy ;  
the one who rushed off when things got too personal or uncomfortable .  
        he wanted to stay there .  
he wanted to understand and answer
                 — but he wasn’t entirely sure of what he wanted to say just yet . 

                “ there was a time when i would’ve given ANYTHING
                      to hear you say these things to me ,  
         but i just … i just don’t want you to mistake this for something it’s not .  
            i feel the timing is , ” his voiced trailed off slightly ,  
  his gaze focusing on nothing as he grew somewhat LOST in his thoughts .
     “ i’ve been there for you when things have gotten tough and i’m
                 worried that you’re C O N F U S E D . ” 

                 her gaze fell as he spoke, her fingers fiddling with 
             the hem of her skirt as she too organized her thoughts.
             ❝i understand if this isn’t what you wanted to hear or
             if it’s come too late or if after all this time it doesn’t live
                      up to what you thought it was going to be…❞

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❝… but i’ve spent a long time denying what i felt. 
         maybe i am c o n f u s e d. maybe all of this is
             one big mistake. but i’m tired of the maybes that
                 keep running through my head each time i see you.❞

     ❝i’m not asking you to LIKE me back…❞ she whispered,
    her mind replaying his words, ‘there was a time’ playing
        in a loop through her head. ❝it was just time for me
    to be the one spitting out unwanted love confessions.❞
       lily teased, a tight smile spreading across her lips. 

(Source: xo-lilithmarie)


jpcttr:

   “ now c’mon .  you’re not a coward .  
you’re HUMAN  … and there is nothing wrong with being afraid . ”
           he leaned forward ,  
           his hand gently resting on the base of her neck as he
caressed her cheek with his thumb ,  
     his gaze as soft as his touch . 
          “ it’s tough to face our problems ,  
but   when we finally do it … when we finally take that plunge 
                          THAT’S what makes us BRAVE . ”

   he lowered his hand ,  
 leaning back against the wall as he took in her words .
              “ an’ i wanna be BRAVE too .  
i wanna face my problems and be honest with you ;  
          so yeah ,  i guess you could say I’ve got questions . ” 

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“ i don’t want to be selfish and bring up your feelings for me ,
                 but … i just want to know .  
           if what you were saying was true then
                             — lily you KNEW how i felt ,  
         why didn’t you say anything ? 
 was it R E A L L Y because of that game ? ” 

❝well i am a GRYFFINDOR after all aren’t i?
it just took me a little longer than i thought
     it would. it feels pretty good though. 
less like the world is slowly crushing me.❞

        she leaned into his touch briefly, her 
       teeth sinking into her lower lip as she
                   took the moment in. 

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                                                ❝it wasn’t J U S T the game. 
                                                  it wasn’t even just the kiss. 
                                               i just didn’t know how to say it.
                                              what just walk up to you and say
                                           ‘OH hey potter, turns out i’m bloody
                                           head over heels for you and i’ve only
                                           just now realized it?’ i didn’t want it
                                               to come off as a jealousy thing. 
                                         besides, would you have believed me?
                                               and THIS, our friendship? it was
                                               only just starting and i couldn’t
                                              risk it. i would give up everything
                                              if it meant i kept this. being your
                                     friend has been the best adventure i’ve ever
                                 embarked upon, you’re my frustrating, stubborn,
                                   complicated, free spirited partner. if i couldn’t
                                     tell you i had feelings for you, i could at least
                                       enjoy your company. besides, at the time
                                         you’d still flirt occasionally and i must
                                               say it felt pretty damn good.❞ 

❝there’s also the whole, oh shit i love
                         james potter i’m a freaking hypocrite bit. ❞

(Source: xo-lilithmarie)


jpcttr:

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 “ no ,  i do .  i … again ,  i’m sorry
           — & i wish i had the right words ,  but i’m just some STUPID KID ,  lily .
   i need you to remember that ;
                  i’m TRYING to understand ,  though .  i REALLY am . ”

       given his seated position ( sitting with his legs crossed ) ,  
he leaned forward and rested his elbows on the edges of his knees .  
                   he tried his best to RELAX
  the situation in a sense ,  
relieving the tension in hopes of creating a more comfortable
                       environment for the both of them . 

                “ you’re one of the strongest people i’ve ever met ,  
          but that doesn’t mean you have to do this alone . and … ”
  he stopped speaking ,
      his gaze falling once more as he suddenly found
himself scared to broach the subject . 
“ there will never NOT be a you and i — no matter what the relationship , 
                          i will always be there for you . ”

❝i know you can handle a lot.
and i really appreciate you wanting
to understand or try and make
sense of everything, i can imagine
it’s a lot to take in all at once.❞

❝i got to say goodbye. to him. it should make
things easier, that’s what people say but it
really doesn’t. i feel his absence every day. i
didn’t tell anyone because i didn’t want to say
it aloud. telling you was harder because i’m 
most genuine when i speak with you believe it
or not. i’ve never considered myself a coward
but when it came to facing that, i guess i was one.❞

                                  a soft smile settled onto her lips as she
                                 watched him, her nerves suddenly fading
                                 with his words. he had a knack for making
                                 her feel at peace with a simple sentence.

❝i’ll always be here for you too. you’re 
important to me, no matter what the
circumstances are, that wont ever change.❞

(…)

              ❝i don’t want to beat around the bush anymore.
     you know, you heard im assuming. you’re still my friend above
              all else so do you have any questions i guess?
             anything to make us both less terrified of actually
           talking about what’s going on. my dad, my feelings…
                i’m coming clean james potter, so fire away.
                  you’ve got unlimited access to my brain
                for a few moments i hope you use it wisely.❞

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(Source: xo-lilithmarie)


jpcttr:

     “ yeah , ” he mumbled ,  
his gaze falling as his tongue ran across his lips ,
 his teeth eventually sinking in against
           them as a habitual response to an uncomfortable situation . 

      “ i wanna be someone you can talk to .  
               no matter the PROBLEM ,  no matter the SITUATION  
 —  i wanna … i want to be there for you . ”
he stopped for a short moment ,  his head shaking as his eyes lifted back to her ,  
            his gaze becoming steady and unwavering . 
  “ i don’t wanna fight with you at parties or avoid you in the halls ,  lily . ” 

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❝i just didn’t know what to say.❞

                         she looked back at him, chewing on
                          her lower lip as she scrambled for 
                  a way to explain why she’d kept him in the dark.

         ❝i trust you more than i trust anyone.
      but i think you know what i mean when
i say this wasn’t the easiest subject to bring up.❞

the girl nodded, tucking a loose
                     piece of her hair behind her ear.

❝i don’t want to fight with you either. 
by now it’s obvious i enjoy your company.❞

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(Source: xo-lilithmarie)


jpcttr:

     he was sorry for a great many things .
 for not realizing how she felt ,  for not being there when her father died ,  
              for not SEEING that she was STRUGGLING .  
he should’ve been a better person ,
                              a better friend .  
then there was the question of how he was supposed to have the slightest idea . 
                   perhaps james potter should’ve opened his eyes . 

        “ i didn’t know . ”

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                              lily faced the window again, her heart sinking slightly
                             as she pieced two and two together. he didn’t have 
                             to go into details for her to know perfectly well what
                             he was talking about. two beats passed before she
                                      sighed softly, fiddling with her fingers. 

❝you weren’t supposed to know.❞

                             her words were gentle, she feared he would 
                                          take them the wrong way but they were sincere.

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(Source: xo-lilithmarie)


jpcttr:

      he offered her a smile in lieu of a hello ,  
 his features an odd mixture of WEARY & BENEVOLENT
                      as he took a seat next to her .
    the rain tapped on the window to an almost rhythmic degree ,  
                as if it were singing along to the song which
streamed from her record player .
   he wasn’t sure what to say .  hell ,  he wasn’t sure how to feel .  
the things lily had told marlene were said in secret and he
          KNEW DAMN WELL that he wasn’t supposed to have heard it . 

but he did … and he hasn’t been
                    able to think of much else since . 

   he watched her silently for a moment ,  
his eyes glued to the girl before him : LILY EVANS .  
    “ i’m sorry , ” he finally said ,  
                     now speaking alongside the music . 

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                               she studied his expression, confusion seeping
                                into her features as he lowered himself down 
                              next to her. he didn’t look away and she found
                              it quite hard to pull her eyes away from his, then
                              again that wasn’t rare. she often found herself 
                                                lost in his bright orbs. 

 ❝what do you mean?❞

                              she whispered, her brows furrowed with hesitation.
                                  suddenly there was an odd feeling in the pit of 
                              her stomach, like she knew what he was sorry about
                                but it was best not to jump to conclusions when it
                                                               involved him.

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(Source: xo-lilithmarie)


@jpcttr

               in the dead of the night lily found herself
               perched upon the edge of the windowsill 
               in the middle of the head student’s study,
            her legs tucked beneath her as she watched
             the soft rain hit the glass, her record player
               set a few feet away from her, ‘i need my 
             girl
’ setting the mood. though she felt much
             lighter after her talk with marlene, it didn’t
              change the fact that she was still feeling
               a little down. she was so transfixed she
               didn’t notice the male walking towards
                   her until he was right beside her. 
                                                                                                     ❝OH. hi james.❞

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NETWORK

DROPDOWN TITLE

MUSE A — Bacon ipsum dolor amet pork in excepteur velit laboris mollit quis pariatur veniam dolor ut culpa tempor dolore. Fugiat laboris dolor sirloin ea, tail short loin andouille proident lorem pancetta pig. Dolore swine sirloin do fatback est, salami pancetta esse dolore leberkas ham. Enim pork chop sirloin, aliqua ad nisi spare ribs veniam id.

MUSE B — Sirloin filet mignon voluptate aliquip magna. Tail shank do culpa tenderloin, consequat in ad jowl shoulder swine. Beef ribs kielbasa jowl, in short loin nulla pork loin. Anim porchetta do jowl, drumstick pastrami meatball alcatra fugiat ham hock ut duis dolore in. Non dolore cow nisi strip steak, bresaola pork chop sausage ipsum dolor.

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