hopelessly hopeful
LILITH MARIE EVANS
Lily Evans
head girl

❝she was a beautiful dreamer. the kind of girl who kept her head in the clouds, loved above the
S T A R S and left regret beneath the EARTH she walked on.❞

3 Weeks || Post-Beasts

jpcttr:

james was never as good with words as lily was.
            she had a gift when it came to speaking her mind and making complete sense. oftentimes when james spoke, he ended up confusing everyone, including himself. he knew what he felt. he knew his hopes and his dreams and his fears, but he could never truly transfer them into script.
                   he was a man who spoke with his eyes and his gestures. when he was angry, he kept his distance. when he loved someone, he remained close. it was as simple and straightforward as that. but at that moment he remained frozen, unsure of which gesture to make. of which expression to wear

she was telling him things he had never known.
               not even a guess would’ve led him to those revelations and that made him lost. james thought he knew her and he was only now realizing that, despite how confident he had been in the matter, she was still a person with secrets. did he put her on a pedestal? was this his own doing?

after a moment of hesitation, he took a step forward, and then another, eventually taking a seat back on the bed as he reached for her hand. leaning back against his pillow and pulling her against his chest, he began to trace various shapes along her back with his fingertips. 

“ i don’t know where to start. ”
           he whispered, his lips lost within her red hair as he kissed the top of her head. 
                                                                         “ we’re gonna be okay. ”

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“ … or maybe not. my ideas really ARE batshit. not safe … AT ALL. ”
                             he smiled softly and to himself, letting his eyes shut once more as a sigh escaped his mouth. he and lily weren’t finished talking. not even close, really. yet even after everything that was said, he still felt comfortable sitting there with her in his arms. 
              “ lily       we’re young. we’re not supposed to know what the hell’s going on, but … at least with you, i feel like i have SOME semblance of an idea … did i use that word right? never mind. ” his smile remained steady and soft as he ran through the words in his mind. 

“ i want you to know that you can always be honest with me.
                      being afraid and having problems is universal. it’s not going to make me care for you any less. we need to stop pretending to be perfect because we’re not. NOT EVEN CLOSE. we … we fell for each other at a very dark time in our lives. it’s not gonna be easy and i think that’s why we need each other, because despite all of the horrible things that are happening right now, there is still light out there … my friends are mine. my family is mine. and you … you are mine. i guess i’ve grown possessive of the good things in my life. ” 

he stopped speaking for a moment,
                   his eyes fluttering open as he surveyed the ceiling above him. he thought silently of how the most romantic of stories were drenched in sadness and heartbreak. perhaps it was their turn to reap the happiness they now deserved. “ if you say you won’t leave me. that you’ll stay by my side … then i’ll believe you. ”

❝we’ll be okay.❞ she nodded, repeating his words as she settled into his arms, cuddling up closer him and resting her cheek against his chest as her eyes fluttered shut, her heart beat quickly normalizing now that she felt his embrace. ❝even when we’re not, i don’t want to leave. I’m sorry for how i’ve handled things in the past. it wasn’t how i should have dealt with it and you didn’t deserve for me to do that to you, but i will be better. like this, just talking through things, no matter how hard it is sometimes.❞

❝i feel like we just have to start over in a way. because to trust each other we have to know each other, and we only know some bits. and we’re still kids but we’re getting thrown into a situation where we have to act like we’re so much older than we are and i still want to be a kid with you, i want to make stupid mistakes, have sex like love sick bunnies, drink and play cards till sunrise. i want to be in a relationship with my best friend and have these happy moments where i’m completely comfortable but i also just want us to be a team because things aren’t getting easier any time soon. so i hope you can forgive me for  what happened when we started dating. and thank you for believing that i’m going to be right here from now on.❞ a soft smile slowly crept onto her features as she propped herself up onto her shoulders, glancing down at him before stealing a quick kiss, though it might have been a fleeting moment, the exchange still sent chills down her spine. 

❝so how about we start now. no secrets, no reservations. tell me what’s been on your mind and how can i help?❞

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  1. xo-lilithmarie reblogged this from jpcttr
  2. jpcttr reblogged this from xo-lilithmarie
  3. roxcnne said: YOU DON’T EVEN GO HERE *SMH*
  4. okbenjy said: wOW “god whatd you ever see in him?” just know benjys sending hiM DAGGERS

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