❝she was a beautiful dreamer.
the kind of girl who
kept her head in the clouds,
loved above the S T A R S
and left regret beneath the EARTH
she walked on.❞
“ NO. no, that’s not it at all. i … i don’t know WHY i didn’t tell you. ” the words fell from his mouth without permission, causing him to stop in his tracks as his gaze remained fixed on hers. he needed to be honest with her. he couldn’t keep walking on eggshells, pretending like everything was perfect when he was continually worried. “ that’s a lie. i do know why i didn’t tell you. ”
“ i don’t wanna say it. ” he finally admitted after a moment of silence, an unsteady heat beginning to spread around his eyes. his breathing became hitched as he looked down at the ground. “ you know i care you, i do … but god i can’t … jesus. ” the final word emerged as a whisper, a bitter laugh falling from his lips as he grew angry over how much difficultly he was having. “ i don’t trust you. ”
he had been very careful with their relationship since the beginning, tiptoeing around everything because he was terrified of her changing her mind. he didn’t want to toss his problems in her face for fear of her running the other way. he didn’t care if he lost his position on the team or his title as head boy, yet how could he ask her to risk everything? for him? a boy she never fought for.
“ and i know that i should. and that i’m being stupid insecure all the time, but … sometimes i think we rushed into this. part of it’s my fault. i wanted to be with you so badly that i ignored everything else. i didn’t care … but i do now. ”
I DON’T TRUST YOU.
his words, harsh and cold without ever intending to be misconstrued as such, knocked a breath out of her she wasn’t even aware she was holding in. it was chilling, how suddenly the mood shifted between them and how she could now see in retrospect how hollow their poorly pieced together relationship truly was. though she tried to control her emotions, tears began to cloud her vision and her hands were balled into tight fists, her insecurities bubbling to the surface so quickly it almost made her dizzy.
her heart sank as he spoke, his words registering though only some carried true meaning to her. RUSHED INTO THIS. WANTED TO BE WITH YOU. she desperately wanted to run away, ignore the impending conversation but something kept her rooted to that spot, her eyes transfixed on him and her mind reeling for something to say. she loved him too much to run away from whatever was happening. she wanted to be brave and face the one fear that plagued her ever since she’d opened her arms to james potter.
❝why don’t you trust me? do you not want to be with me anymore? because i can understand that, given everything that we’ve been through i haven’t exactly been the ideal girl and i know i was a real bitch for a long time so if maybe i’m not what you expected or i let you down… i didn’t mean to.❞
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MUSE B — Sirloin filet mignon voluptate aliquip magna. Tail shank do culpa tenderloin, consequat in ad jowl shoulder swine. Beef ribs kielbasa jowl, in short loin nulla pork loin. Anim porchetta do jowl, drumstick pastrami meatball alcatra fugiat ham hock ut duis dolore in. Non dolore cow nisi strip steak, bresaola pork chop sausage ipsum dolor.