❝she was a beautiful dreamer.
the kind of girl who
kept her head in the clouds,
loved above the S T A R S
and left regret beneath the EARTH
she walked on.❞
“Oh–” was all she could muster as the pieces finally fell together, “hey–” she called, drawing her attention, “don’t do that –” she stated fiercely, “you’re not something he can get out of his system – don’t belittle yourself or what you did. Lily – Jamie’s chased you for as long as I can remember. He thinks the world of you and whatever reaction you saw is just him trying to figure it out–” she offered, a weary smile at her lips. She couldn’t begin to explain to her what was going on – it wasn’t her place, but she wasn’t going to let her insecurities ruin her. “I don’t know what’s going to happen – maybe you guys are going to be just friends or maybe more – just be patient?” she suggested softly. “I’m going to say something and I’m going to hope that you don’t think I’m judging you because I’m not and the last thing I want you to do is feel bad, but you’re my friend and I want to be honest with you – he’s waited for you for so long, Lils. He’s been patient and he’s done his time and if he means that much to you – do the same. I’m not saying put your life on hold – if you fancy someone else, date them. Do what’s right for you, but don’t let him go just because his first reaction wasn’t the one that you expected– Lily Evans isn’t a quitter–”
“Oh merlin, no. I love the offer and you are an extraordinary wingwoman, but I already feel like a coward and the last thing I want you to do is front me as I attempt to get my shit together. I don’t know what I’m going to do, but I think I’ve got to do it alone–”
❝ i’m not belittling what we did, we had sex. we both wanted it, we were both aware of what was happening and where it was going and i’m positive he would agree that it was GOOD. it’s not about patience either it’s just… STOP trying to tell me how to feel when i was there and you were not. i’m not saying it because i’m mad or i’m just ‘throwing in the towel’.i didn’t E X P E C T anything with him. GOD why does everyone think they know what’s in my head? i’m not pointing fingers or feeling like shit because oh no i was rejected, it was good and i’m glad it happened, i do not regret it for one second but emmeline the truth of the matter is, i was a straight bitch to him for six years in a row and i was the one that pushed him away so his reaction is not a surprise to me. i’m not wallowing in self pity, i’m being a realist. James Potter deserves far better than whatever shit storm i just dragged him into and that’s why i think it shouldn’t have happened, not because i feel crappy because he didn’t immediately want me back i’m not that S H A L L O W. and if he did do it to get me out of his system and in the end it does make him happier, then i’m one thousand percent grateful that he did because it means in the end he will still be happy and that’s what matters most to me. that doesn’t mean i don’t fancy him anymore, it means whatever the fuck i feel does not matter more than what’s best for him and if that isn’t me then it sucks but i’m a big girl, i’m not going to cry about it. thanks for the unwanted advice though.
❞
❝ if you need anything, you know where to find me. i’m always happy to help.
❞
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MUSE B — Sirloin filet mignon voluptate aliquip magna. Tail shank do culpa tenderloin, consequat in ad jowl shoulder swine. Beef ribs kielbasa jowl, in short loin nulla pork loin. Anim porchetta do jowl, drumstick pastrami meatball alcatra fugiat ham hock ut duis dolore in. Non dolore cow nisi strip steak, bresaola pork chop sausage ipsum dolor.