hopelessly hopeful
LILITH MARIE EVANS
Lily Evans
head girl

❝she was a beautiful dreamer. the kind of girl who kept her head in the clouds, loved above the
S T A R S and left regret beneath the EARTH she walked on.❞

mcwinnon:

                                    “if i’m honest, those eyes of yours have looked
        bloody erratic these days. but um— for what it’s
                         worth
, i have two ears and nowhere to be.”

image


❝gee thanks that’s a real comfort.❞
                                                       (…)

image


❝so. i lied when i said nothing happened over the summer. a lot happened actually. it really all boils down to the fact that my dad died at the beginning of the break and i don’t really think i handled it well. or handled it at all. so that in itself has made me feel rubbish but on top of that i think i have strong feelings for the person i now consider my BEST friend. which obviously isn’t as important as the pain that i feel over my dad being gone but it all just happened at the same time and he you know, helped me work through those things but he’s not here to do that now and i don’t think i can figure it out on my own so i just need to tell someone because i-i-i-i can’t take it anymore, i can’t stand the gaping hole in my chest. ❞

❝i think i’m in love with james. i mean i know i am or else i wouldn’t feel THIS. i’ve known for a while. it’s been harder and harder to actually deny for the past few months. after all it’s me, i figure out i have legitimate feelings for someone and what to i do? go out of my way to squander them instead of rejoice in the fact that someone makes me happy.❞


❝it’s a long story. i think it gets longer the more i think about it, the more i actually piece together how i ended up so in over my head without realizing sooner. i think it all started with the little things. how he’d jump to defend sirius at any cost. how he’d rush to save those in need, how he stopped teasing people for sport, how loyal he was to the people that deserved his loyalty. of course he was still mischievous, a fact i clinged to whenever i felt myself wavering. it was weak though. i was grasping for thin air at that point.

it practically dissolved when severus… well we all know what happened there. and it hurt, it hurt more than i could have ever imagined it hurting and i didn’t know who to turn to because i just felt like utter crap. and out of nowhere, JAMES POTTER just showed up. and he didn’t say anything. he was just there because he knew i needed him. he let me cry into his chest and he was quiet the whole time but i could feel how he just wanted to protect me and from that point on i didn’t want to actively look for reasons to be upset with him.

i don’t think i could even begin to explain how it felt to just laugh when he was around. like i wasn’t fighting it anymore, everything fell into place and i could just enjoy him and for someone that tried desperately not to fall under his charm i fell harder than anyone in this damn school.

it’s not that he’s perfect, i actually don’t think i’ve ever met someone that is so completely different to what i always considered my perfect man to be. despite that though… i see STARS in his eyes. he makes me feel safe and he makes me laugh. his voice literally ignites fires in the most remote corners of my soul and i have never felt this way about someone. he’s not a perfect man but somehow i feel like he’s perfect for me. 

when i’d steal a glance his way and he was already looking at me… anyways i realized i fell in love with him. and that was right around the time i think he decided to move on from his feelings for me.

i don’t blame him, how could i after everything i had done. i could see it though, in those beautiful damned eyes. i watched as he pulled back from me and when he kissed her at the party last year i guess that just sealed my fate. someone said i was punishing him for kissing her and that’s just… it’s not the case, if anything i’m punishing myself for being so upset about it because what the hell did i expect?

he deserves her, he deserves better than me.


when dad passed away this summer and all i wanted to do was talk to james. To feel the comfort he gave me when severus hurt me but i couldn’t reach out to him. because why would i pull him into me again when it was clear he’s so much better off without me. last night just made that fact all the more obvious. ❞ 

(Source: xo-lilithmarie)


  1. mcwinnon reblogged this from xo-lilithmarie
  2. xo-lilithmarie reblogged this from mcwinnon

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MUSE A — Bacon ipsum dolor amet pork in excepteur velit laboris mollit quis pariatur veniam dolor ut culpa tempor dolore. Fugiat laboris dolor sirloin ea, tail short loin andouille proident lorem pancetta pig. Dolore swine sirloin do fatback est, salami pancetta esse dolore leberkas ham. Enim pork chop sirloin, aliqua ad nisi spare ribs veniam id.

MUSE B — Sirloin filet mignon voluptate aliquip magna. Tail shank do culpa tenderloin, consequat in ad jowl shoulder swine. Beef ribs kielbasa jowl, in short loin nulla pork loin. Anim porchetta do jowl, drumstick pastrami meatball alcatra fugiat ham hock ut duis dolore in. Non dolore cow nisi strip steak, bresaola pork chop sausage ipsum dolor.

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