hopelessly hopeful
LILITH MARIE EVANS
Lily Evans
head girl

❝she was a beautiful dreamer. the kind of girl who kept her head in the clouds, loved above the
S T A R S and left regret beneath the EARTH she walked on.❞

jpcttr:

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his jaw clenched, teeth grinding together as he ultimately failed to suppress his anger. ignoring the fact that he was head boy, he was still someone who deserved to know what his classmates had been through. he wasn’t some weak boy         a single piece of antique china that could be demolished with a single mistake. he was a person. letting his gaze fall down as she pressed her lips to his forehead, james relaxed. it wouldn’t do him any good to make a scene, least of all with lily around. she was the only person who’d been honest with him and he couldn’t explain how thankful he was for that. “ stupid? ” he whispered in jest, not because he wanted to keep the word between them, but rather … he couldn’t push himself to be any louder. “ bite your tongue. ”

his gaze steadied on her, his expression soft and genuine despite the sickly appearance. there was a longing in his eyes that couldn’t be faked: it held a certain thankfulness that pained him, because he could never truly pay her back for the things she had given him. then there was the lingering disappointment. the lack of trust that he refused to admit, for it was easier to lie to himself than to be alone with the knowledge that he could’ve have his dream girl if he’d only GROWN A PAIR. “ lily. ” he started. “ you’re my girl, y’know that? … i love you. ”

she could see the anger shining in his eyes yet again she chose to let it pass due to what? fear that he might be upset? anger that he didn’t tell her what he was thinking? anguish that came as a consequence of seeing him frail when she knew very well he was stronger than most? whatever the case, the girl ran her fingers lovingly through his raven locks and let the anger melt away with one fleeting gaze at his face. she wanted to focus on him in that moment, helping him feel better. ❝comes in handy now and then when i want to impress you. i actually opened my copy of quidditch history, all to amuse you. whatever are you doing to me JAMES POTTER?❞

❝i do know that, ❞ their words were hushed, almost like what was said was too special to be spoken freely just in case someone was listening, like their moment was to be stolen abruptly as had been the case many times prior. her eyes shined with hope, longing for what they could be though a darkness creeped around the edges; heaps of self doubt and fear weighed on the girl, restraining her in many ways around him and it only cause harm, picking at a wound that was growing with each passing day. ❝I LOVE YOU, TOO. i’m all yours james, there’s no where else i’d rather be than right here with you.❞

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vancesemmes:

“mhm– didn’t even see it coming” smiling at the redhead fondly, “she shooed me out–” she sighed, taking the girl’s hand in hers, “we just need to let her do her thing, she does wonders and he’s going to be just fine–” she assured. 

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funny – ran into one of those too–” the exasperation ringing in her tone, “how did this happen? how did any of this happen–” 

❝when do you ever?❞ lily laughed softly, gripping her friends hand tightly as she chewed on her lower lip. though consciously she knew emmeline was right, the more stubborn part of her personality did not want to admit that it was best to leave james alone at the moment. ❝how does it ever happen? i can’t even begin to wrap my head around it all it just seems like too much and then when we least expect it, terror strikes again. it’s like living in constant fear knowing that it never stops. ❞

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ppcttigrew:

He glanced up, not surprised to see Lily standing at the foot of his bed. James was in the infirmary too, though Peter hadn’t yet felt up to visiting him. With an overdramatic sigh, he patted the edge of the bed, gesturing for her to sit. “I suppose I’ve never been one to turn down hot cocoa.” He held it in his hands, knowing it was too hot to drink, though the warmth of the mug brought him comfort. “Cards sounds fun, yeah.” Anything to stay preoccupied. “Not sure I remember too much myself, but we’ll see.” Pete gave Lily a small, though genuine, smile, grateful for the distraction.

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❝that’s a good way to live your life, it would be a sin to reject such a drink from a lady. ❞ lily’s smile widened as she took a seat at the foot of the boys bed, fetching a worn deck of cards from the inner lining of her robes that covered her sleeping gown. she’d taken to lingering around the infirmary in the evenings in hopes of being closer to james, since it was so difficult for her to sleep without him nowadays.  ❝ i suppose we could always figure out a new game together, our own personal means of entertainment. what do you say? ❞

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ppcttigrew:

Nightmares had always been something Peter was intimately familiar with. Ever since he was a boy, his mind ran rampant and it usually resulted in bad sleep–if he got any at all. His mother attested it to his ‘overactive imagination.’ All Pete knew was that he’d felt tired since he was six years old, and as far as he was concerned, that was why he was so spacey all the time. 

Tonight had been no different. If anything, the events of the attack had given the dark parts of his mind more fuel. Keys and trolls and chess–it was the last part that currently haunted Wormtail. He awoke, screaming, after seeing the queen’s piece take a swing at him like it had back in the chess chamber. Peter began tugging at the bandages wrapped round his arm, mistaking them for Devil’s Snare. 

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After a moment he was able to collect himself and take a deep breath, though he was sure by now he’d woken up the whole infirmary, if not half of the castle. He already felt like the weak link among their budding group; the last thing he wanted was anyone to see him for what he was.

“I’m not taking visitors,” Peter groaned, after hearing echoing footsteps approaching his bed in the once-again-quiet hospital wing.

❝ you sure? i brought hot chocolate and everything pete. it’s rude to turn down a nice warm beverage. ❞ lily waited patiently by the foot of peter’s bed, her bright green eyes sullen with a recognizable understanding, her hands draped delicately over the sheets. she’d been glued to james’ bedside ever since pomfrey allowed visitors into the infirmary so the sudden outburst called for her attention, the striking similarities to what she’d experienced only a few weeks prior breaking her heart into a million pieces. she cared for peter though she rarely expressed her fondness, so seeing him upset coaxed a soft almost motherly instinct into action.  ❝ do you want to stay up for a bit? play some cards? ❞  the girl offered, moving the jug of hot cocoa to the bedside table slowly, afraid any sudden movements might jar the boy. she recalled how terrified she was when she awoke from her momentary slumber post-traumatic incident and how difficult it was to sleep, how she yearned for any excuse to stay awake. perhaps that was how she could help him.  ❝ dad taught me how to play poker a while back, his favorite game. i could teach you if you’re up for it? ❞

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jpcttr:

he looked comically taken aback. 
                “ EXCUSE ME? ”
his tone emerged as if she’d just insulted his trousers or called his hair stupid.
                           he hadn’t meant to appear funny,
though to a random passerby,
              the conversation may have seem more casual than anything else. 
       “ you can’t just wave that off … you fought a TROLL? ”

then she turned the tables on him, 
asking him a question that he should’ve no doubt prepared for.
         he didn’t want to lie. he wouldn’t.
but he also didn’t want to tell her the truth either. 
                          “ i’m sorry. ”
                                         he admitted,
       his expression falling after not having realized how worried she must’ve been.
if he had thought for a single second that she would’ve been in any danger,
                     he would’ve gone out of his mind. apparently he’d been wrong.
           she hadn’t been safe in the common room. 

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“ i uh … i was with emmeline. and eh … and peter and, ”
             his voice trailed off as he took a deep breath.
                            he was incredibly tired and he wanted nothing more than to sleep;
if not to get some rest, then surely to escape the conversation. 
  “ a bunch of us were having a meeting about what to do about all the attacks.
                                ironic, isn’t it? feels sort of like a message, y’know?
             BUT I’M ALIVE, so … guess i’m holdin’ up better than i could’ve been. ”

❝ TWO apparently. acromantula’s as well and whatever it is your lot faced. that’s all i’ve gathered so far, dumbledore’s keeping it pretty hush hush while they do some digging around into what happened. ❞ the girl shook her head quickly, gripping his hand firmly now (though not too tight as she still feared to hurt him in any way)  ❝hey, no apologizing. you didn’t know what was going on.❞ her brows furrowed as he vaguely explained where he was that evening, his breathing labored as he went through the motions of recounting what happened. his words stuck with her, the mention of a meeting and the subject of said gathering taking a stab at her already delicate soul. though she wanted to press the matter further, his weak disposition took precedence so she bottled up whatever negative emotions might surface and mustered up a soft smile before leaning forward and pressing a gentle kiss atop his forehead.  ❝ nevermind that. you’re alive and i’m damn glad you are. what would i do without you, huh? who’s gonna keep me warm at night or annoy me with stupid quidditch facts? who’s going to keep my ego in check and distract me from rounds? can’t have you disappearing on me just yet. ❞

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jpcttr:

her voice tickled his ears.
             it was foreign         a beautiful sound amidst a sea of coughing, crying, and cursing.
 it bought about a smile, genuine, but lacking in size as he found himself unbearably tired. 

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                               “ hey. ”
          he sounded happy, his head tilted to the side as she grew closer.
                   james had wanted to see her since he’d woken up,
yet he couldn’t lie and claim that a small part of him didn’t wish that she would stay away.
the only thing worse than feeling the way he did was knowing that others could witness it.
                                    but the disappointment was nonexistent when she walked in,
           drowned out FIRST by his delight and SECOND by his confusion.
                                                    she was bruised

a pained grunt slipped from his lips as he sat up further in his bed. 
                          “ what happened? ”
  all he knew about was the attack on the meeting.
           the people around him had conveniently left out the other beasts as they
feared it would halt the healing process. stress him out and cause his body to retaliate. 

she shook her head, waving off his concern as she set her gift onto the small bedside table, her attention still on him.  ❝oh pesky little troll lost his way. you should see how he ended up. ❞ her laugh was soft, hushed and quickly drowned out by the rising concern that overpowered her consciousness now that she was closer to him. he didn’t look bad, he never could to her. but he looked ill.  ❝where WERE you? i couldn’t find you and i… i was worried sick i thought something happened to you. well something did and i swear to god potter, i’d pick wrestling three trolls over not knowing where you are in the middle of all that chaos.❞ it was probably ill-advised to badger him about something that couldn’t be remedied now but she didn’t know how to proceed. she’d never been worried about someone like this before. her hand lingered over his, the tips of her fingers finally touching his hand delicately, almost like she was afraid he’d disappear if she moved too quickly. they were wafting through uncharted territory together yet apart, their fleeting moments offering some solace within the darkness.  ❝how are you holding up? ❞

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jpcttr:

           when the nurse herself told him he looked like shit,
                             he found it best to believe her.
he did, after all, feel awful        the impressively dark circles smeared beneath
         his eyes and the ghostly pale skin only two of many different clues to his sickly state. 

                    bedridden and bored,
       his gaze remained steady on the book in his hand.
                                poppy had given it to him, no doubt out of pity. 
one second, ”
          he mumbled as a figure approached from the corner of his eye.
                     finishing up the page, he finally lifted his gaze. 

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❝ knock knock. ❞ lily lingered by the curtain that awarded the boy a bit of privacy from the rest of the hospital wing, her arms cradling a small basket full of an assortment of items she’d collected in hopes of making his stay a bit more pleasant.  as he looked up at her, the girl took a shy step forward, her eyes surveying the damage done to him (even though she knew every single detail of his medical history after hounding pomfrey and taking a peek at his chart)  ❝you went through hell and back and you still look ravishing, potter. i swear it should be illegal to be as handsome as you are.❞ she teased meekly, her eyes watering as she took another small step in his direction, fearful that any sort of contact might harm him in some way. she was not used to seeing him in a vulnerable position and the sight jarred her, pure fear striking at her heart. she saw him as invincible and knowing that he wasn’t was a harsh reality she wasn’t prepared to face. she didn’t want to lose him just yet.  

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vancesemmes:

“i see what you did there–” she mumbled, handing the bottle over as she curled into the couch, “i’m fine – tired and contemplating dear ol’ dumbledore’s sanity–” she trailed off, “it was chaos – so many rooms and odd challenges. i’m worried about jamie – lils, the bite didn’t look so good–”

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“i’m sorry for disappearing – i was trying to get a few things sorted. what about you? what happened to you? are you okay?”  

❝i’m sly like that aren’t i? ❞ lily laughed softly, settling into the seat beside her friend and taking a long sip before setting the bottle onto the ground beside them.  ❝ i think we’re all doing that. it was… madness. not like anything we’ve ever had to deal with it was just unexpected. i went to check up on him and pomfrey wouldn’t let me in just yet, i’m probably going to go mad if i don’t see him soon. ❞ lily shook her head, running her fingers through her locks as she tried to make sense of the events.  ❝there was a troll. a bloody troll chased us through the whole damn castle and i couldn’t get it out of here and there were first years around so i… we got it out though and then the staff showed up. ❞

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daisyhcckm:

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        daisy nodded fervently as lily spoke, the words inspiring even just a FLICKER of confidence in her chest. she once again flinched at the loud crash that followed a deafening roar, eyes squeezing shut as she took a deep breath. she had to calm down — after all, she wasn’t the one about to run from a troll on purpose. ❝ okay. alright. strong, indepedent witches — we can do this. you can do this. i’ll keep watch, i’ll keep time i’ll — you can do this. ❞ daisy gave her hand one last squeeze, looking out to see how close the troll now was.

lily nodded, a soft smile settling onto her lips as she watched the girl gather her courage and offer her some to spare. with one final breath lily held her wand firmly in front of her and peered out at the troll, the fear slipping past her courageous facade. “wait maybe three seconds before running as fast as you possibly can alright?” with one final nod the girl got up, maneuvering through the rubble and out into the trolls view. she took a rock from the ground and threw it in his direction to claim his attention, shuddering slightly when she realized he was watching her. “daisy, GET HELP!” she yelled before running off, the large troll following not far behind. 

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(Source: xo-lilithmarie)


vancesemmes:

“do i have to?”

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❝ you don’t only because i love you dearly and i know you need it. how are you? what happened to you last night, i was worried sick when i couldn’t find you. ❞

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NETWORK

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MUSE A — Bacon ipsum dolor amet pork in excepteur velit laboris mollit quis pariatur veniam dolor ut culpa tempor dolore. Fugiat laboris dolor sirloin ea, tail short loin andouille proident lorem pancetta pig. Dolore swine sirloin do fatback est, salami pancetta esse dolore leberkas ham. Enim pork chop sirloin, aliqua ad nisi spare ribs veniam id.

MUSE B — Sirloin filet mignon voluptate aliquip magna. Tail shank do culpa tenderloin, consequat in ad jowl shoulder swine. Beef ribs kielbasa jowl, in short loin nulla pork loin. Anim porchetta do jowl, drumstick pastrami meatball alcatra fugiat ham hock ut duis dolore in. Non dolore cow nisi strip steak, bresaola pork chop sausage ipsum dolor.

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